Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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