After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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