I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
