Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Randomize
