pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
