I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Randomize
