You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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