found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
