im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
