4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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