And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
