her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
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