The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
