We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
