Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
