Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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