It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
