On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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