Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
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