When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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