You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
apparently the secret to your success is patron
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Randomize
