I need help removing her.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
