I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I want a musical about memes.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
