3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
