dude i'm inner monologue high
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
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