I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
