i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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