By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Drake has all the answers
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
