Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
