Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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