...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Everclear isn't food dammit
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
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