You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Randomize
