The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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