I just gift wrapped bread.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I think my moral compass just broke
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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