she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
