Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
