Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
