end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I will pee on everything he values.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Randomize
