Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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