Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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