awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
