Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize
