Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
