She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize
