I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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