You're so nebulous sometimes
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
