There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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