If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
