yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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