well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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