is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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