we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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