How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
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