It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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