Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
