He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
