I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I think your dad took our porno
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
