My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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