she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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